I love how as the story unfolds, the narrator becomes potentially another version of the abusive husband, and the subtlety with which you slowly unravel that.
(Side note: I wish Substack had an “edit comment” button so I don’t have to delete my comment and start all over when I get too excited and hit “post” before I’m done formulating all the words I want to. 😅)
It’s serving the written version of television’s You. I love how the eeriness builds, how the tension amps up. Can’t wait to read more!
Thanks very much. I can totally see that :)
Really appreciate you reading !
This is beautiful. It’s haunting yet relatable. You have a lot of talent.
Thank you so much, Jess :)
I’m just speaking the truth!
I can see why this placed so highly, Jake. Fascinating story, really inventive.
Thank you , Frank :)
This was so much fun to read. Thank you for sharing!
Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks so much for reading, Caleb :)
This evokes some many emotions! 🥹🥹Mystery, Excitement, Romance, Attraction, Love, Timing …. I LOVE IT!
Also… do yourself a favor and send this to Jared Freid (you can find him on IG). He is a comedian and the “Charcuterie Board Lord” IYKYK.
Well done, Jake!!! 👏🏼 ❤️
Hahaha I'll look up Jared! Thank you!
He's great! Very funny
This is great, love how it unravels with a contradictory inner monologue. Bravo!
Thank you, Dylan 🕺🏻
I love how as the story unfolds, the narrator becomes potentially another version of the abusive husband, and the subtlety with which you slowly unravel that.
Glad you enjoyed the story, Sophie. Thanks for reading :)
I love this so much!! You would have won first place if I were judging…brought me to tears.
(Side note: I wish Substack had an “edit comment” button so I don’t have to delete my comment and start all over when I get too excited and hit “post” before I’m done formulating all the words I want to. 😅)
Thank you so much! I'm so glad this story hit home for you :)
No worries, I'm hoping for that edit button too!
Exactly!! Omg you hit the nail on the head. That was my thought process for making this contest’s writing prompt work :)